Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
