Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
