she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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