we have officially lost it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
