It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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