two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
