I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
