I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
