Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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