He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
