Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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