it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
