im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
