How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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