Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
