I just pynch a tree in the face
so let's talk penis.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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