no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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