i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize