forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
