so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
