haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
