Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
