The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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