She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
