Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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