just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
