did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
