so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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