You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
