Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
