doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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