a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
