She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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