one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
