I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
