i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
