So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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