I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
