this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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