so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
