oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
