she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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