I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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