I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
