Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
