I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
