I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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