The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
