Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
