can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
