A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
