also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
