We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
