Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
