the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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