you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
