I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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