Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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