Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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