And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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