what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
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