I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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