Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri
  Replies (36) Good night (3992) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays. http://tfl.nu/hsxj
  Replies (12) Good night (932) Bad night (3866)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight http://tfl.nu/b8vr
  Replies (38) Good night (4632) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display. http://tfl.nu/9yl8
  Replies (13) Good night (1174) Bad night (5849)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face. http://tfl.nu/dqag
  Replies (11) Good night (1318) Bad night (5200)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1740) Bad night (4873)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

  (513): View more from Ohio

  its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour (513): its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem http://tfl.nu/ygfh
  Replies (6) Good night (1038) Bad night (3239)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5204) Bad night (2407)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened. http://tfl.nu/ncfk
  Replies (46) Good night (6625) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container.... http://tfl.nu/xfht
  Replies (16) Good night (1713) Bad night (3430)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/drct
  Replies (7) Good night (3432) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration. http://tfl.nu/envu
  Replies (4) Good night (1416) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please. http://tfl.nu/ca04
  Replies (9) Good night (553) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna http://tfl.nu/yd45
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (1709)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever. http://tfl.nu/09i5
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (350)

Randomize