I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
you inspire me to be a worse person
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have