My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...