Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear. http://tfl.nu/pswl
  Replies (8) Good night (888) Bad night (2954)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah

  (415): View more from California

  and she bought it?!?

  (650): View more from California

  yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah (415): and she bought it?!? (650): yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes http://tfl.nu/zwxp
  Replies (28) Good night (8254) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Worst stoner tragedy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr
  Replies (41) Good night (1836) Bad night (6340)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/wlva
  Replies (19) Good night (1170) Bad night (5620)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/2bxp
  Replies (5) Good night (3956) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/b72z
  Replies (31) Good night (12061) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far. http://tfl.nu/izah
  Replies (7) Good night (779) Bad night (3359)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice http://tfl.nu/qhk7
  Replies (3) Good night (2546) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out" http://tfl.nu/fcdr
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (2003)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option http://tfl.nu/2b0i
  Replies (13) Good night (2500) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch. http://tfl.nu/z7wv
  Replies (7) Good night (3117) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while. http://tfl.nu/y6er
  Replies (10) Good night (1103) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol http://tfl.nu/sihy
  Replies (6) Good night (1314) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok. http://tfl.nu/h2pz
  Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present. http://tfl.nu/50t2
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (469)

Randomize