Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
