sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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