I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
