i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
