so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Still dying that you shit outside
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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