this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
