My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
