Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
