did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
